:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
