doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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