Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
