booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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