Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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