smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
