Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize