Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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