I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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