Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
