Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
