Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
