Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
