drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
