Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
