Non-Jews are for practice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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