FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
