Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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