Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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