epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
