You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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