She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
