did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
