he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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