i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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