I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
