so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Im part way to drunk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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