Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
