All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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