i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
