Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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