Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize