he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize