in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
