Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
