i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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