I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You can't special order awesome
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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