Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
