Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
