i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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