I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
nut hugger
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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