im six kinds of drunk right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
