im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
