dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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