clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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