Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
