Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
