You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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