you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
