about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
