There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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