and she was petting her beer can
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
