K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
