saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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