and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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