At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
