Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
