Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
