i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
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