That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
