Barsexuality is the new black.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
