Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
