It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
